im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
