I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
