It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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