I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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