3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
