That's intense
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
soo... how was my night?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
