I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
