oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
