I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
