Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
