At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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