had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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