I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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