Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
