ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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