found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
