Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
