What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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