It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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