I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
only you would photoshop your dick
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
