I got chris browned last night
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
