I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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