I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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