After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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