We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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