Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
