So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Drunk is not a location!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
