i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
