so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
