Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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