i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
