I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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