She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
