I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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