Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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