You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
