im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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