In America we eat man semen.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
