Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Found your dick twin last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
