she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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