who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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