A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
