OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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