I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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