take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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