Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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