My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
