Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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