my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
