have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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